See Yourself--You Are Worth It

True love comes from within. You cannot fake it. You cannot force it. You cannot buy it. It comes without thought, without effort, without payment.

I try to find the good in all people. In all my years, I’ve yet to find the person who had no good points. I may not like all people, but that is just my personal opinion. That does not make them all bad, any more than loving someone makes them all good. We all have our good (and our bad) traits. It is harder for me to see my own good traits than it is to see them in another. But, I can see my bad traits much clearer.

Why is it that we are so harsh on ourselves?  Why do we beat ourselves up for every little mistake, every misspoken word and every clumsy moment?  We freely forgive others for these.  Why do we not afford ourselves the same courtesy?  How can we truly love another, if we cannot first love ourselves?

Alexander Pope wrote, “The greatest magnifying glasses in the world are a man's own eyes when they look upon his own person”.  We see our own faults much clearer than we see others.  Remember, we all have faults; we all have parts of us we would like to change.  I know my faults.  I accept them, and work daily on overcoming them. 

If you tell me I am impatient, I will not get upset.  I will admit to it and tell you it is something I work on daily.  It is one of my greatest failings, causing me to be rude at times.  This causes me great distress, there for I consciously try to change my behavior.  I have to remind myself that in the big scheme of things, in the next ten years, one more minute of waiting will not change the world.  I do not waste a lot of time beating myself up over it.  It is there and until I change it, it is a part of who I am. 

My job is to always grow, and regretting and recriminations hinder growth.  Acceptance and moving forward stimulate growth.  I want always to move forward, as I find the stagnation of staying still unbearable.  I look into myself, I listen when people criticize, and I seek to learn the things I don’t like about myself, so that I can begin the work of changing them.

I guess I should touch on our physical appeal here also.  Every single person has at least one, and usually more, aspect of their physical appearance they would wish to change.  The individual focuses in on this aspect and becomes self conscious about it.  One of the hardest things in the world about accepting and loving yourself is to accept and love how you look.  In this our internal magnifying glass is relentless.  It is very difficult to realize that others do not see you as you see yourself. 

I have found that some people who look beautiful at first glance can become downright ugly once you get to know them, while others who you may never notice in that first glance become more beautiful every time you interact with them.  The people who really matter in your life will see your true beauty…the beauty of your heart, your mind and your soul.  This is your lasting beauty, and what will be seen day in and day out.  In accepting this, you will know you are beautiful and others will see it also.

The idiom, “familiarity breeds contempt” is a very true statement.  The most beautiful of outward appearances will start to fade and become familiar over time.  It is the ever growing, ever evolving inner beauty that will achieve lasting wonder in how others see us.  Just as we watch in awe the unfolding of the rose’s blossom, so shall the unfolding of our true potential captivate others.

We all make mistakes, and while we readily forgive others for their mistakes, we often spend years beating ourselves up over ours.  We must change how we look at our mistakes.  Mistakes are opportunities to learn and grow.  Look at them as such.  Accept that you made a mistake and learn how to avoid it in the future.  The only people who do not make mistakes are the ones who never learn to live. 

Life is full of mistakes, but as Denis Watley said, “Mistakes are painful when they happen, but years later a collection of mistakes is what is called experience.”  Without trying, without making mistakes we will never grow, never succeed, never live to our fullest.   Elizabeth Kubler-Ross said, “There are no mistakes, no coincidences. All events are blessings given to us to learn from.”  Realize that mistakes are learning experiences.  Do not waste time regretting and beating yourself up.  Learn, live and love…and make mistakes.

All things start in the core and radiate outward.  The same is true of love.  We are the core of our love.  When you find the key to loving yourself, your love will shine around you for all to see.  We are all very alike in our insecurities, it is just the face we put to the world that is different.  Have the courage to love yourself and you will have the courage to love others.  As a flame burns brightest in the center, so must our love.  An amazing outcome of loving yourself is that others will be drawn to you.  Your flame will burn brighter, and as moths are drawn to the light, so are humans.

Acceptance and love for yourself will translate itself into acceptance and love of others.  It will not be forced, it will not be fake and it will never be for sale.  This love will be true and effortless.  In this way we become a blessing to all of those around us.  Love is an unstoppable energy that burns brightest in the core and radiates out illuminating other’s lives.  Let your love shine.